Green Stockings Craft & Design

April 17, 2011

The Curse of the Curvaceous Crafter, Episode 1

Filed under: Crafting — Tags: , , , , — GreenStockings Craft & Creative Events @ 12:08 PM

Standing in the shower this morning, wincing slightly as I dragged my sponge across the angry red skin under my boobs, I’ve come to the conclusion that bras are just not shaped like my boobs.

This isn’t a matter of the right size of bra – if you measured me like you’re “supposed” to (i.e. lean over until your back is parallel to the floor, breasts hanging straight down, and then measure the narrowest part of your chest just under your breasts, and then measure around the widest part of your breast; the difference between these two measures is your cup size: 1″=1 letter size), I would, no joke, wear a size H.

But that’s not all!

I tend to buy my bras by fit more than by size – if there are DDDs, that’s usually what I’m going for, but otherwise DDs or Ds depending on the cut.

But the problem isn’t “size” so much as it is shape – my boobs point outwards, not forwards, and they’re connected to my armpits. They’re very very soft and squishy, so they fill out an ordinary bra ok, but not without the added discomfort of chaffing in the weird gaps and folds that wouldn’t be there if they were sitting as they should naturally.

I think it’s time to knit some.

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